by David Michael Green
So. You’ve built yourself an empire, eh?
Well, bully for you!
What’s next, you ask? Well, now you’ve got to do what everybody does when they have an empire, of course. You’ve got to worry about it falling apart, mate!
But how to tell for sure? Let me see if I can be helpful. Here are some rules of thumb to keep in mind, thirty-six sure-fire indicators that your empire is falling apart:
You know your empire’s crumbling when the folks who are gearing up their empire to replace yours start blowing up satellites in space. And then they don’t bother to return your phone calls when you ring up to ask why.
You know your empire’s crumbling when those same folks are cutting deals left, right and center across Asia, Latin America and Africa, while you, your lousy terms, and your arrogant attitude are no longer welcome.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you’re spending your grandchildren’s money like a drunken sailor, and letting your soon-to-be rivals finance your little splurge (i.e., letting them own your country).
You know your empire’s crumbling when it’s considered an achievement to pretend that you’ve halved the rate at which you’re adding to the massive mountain of debt you’ve already accumulated.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you weaken your currency until it looks as anemic as a Paris runway model, and you’re still setting record trade deficits. (Hint: Because you’re not making anything anymore.)
You know your empire’s crumbling when “the little brown ones” (thank you George H.W. Bush – certainly not me – for that lovely expression) in country after country of “your backyard” blow you off and proudly elect anti-imperialist leftist governments.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you can’t topple those governments and replace them with nice puppet regimes – like in the good old days – even if you wanted to. And you badly want to.
You know your empire’s crumbling when one of their leaders comes to the United Nations and makes fun of your emperor, calling him the devil, and joking about smelling sulphur where he just stood. And though a few folks cringe, everybody laughs.
You know your empire’s crumbling when just about your entire military land force is tied up in a worse-than-useless war launched on the basis of complete fabrications, that every day is actually making you less – not more – secure from external threat.
You know your empire’s crumbling when almost half the soldiers in that war are high-paid mercenaries, and you don’t dare institute a draft.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you send soldiers into war with two weeks training and a lack of armor, and then you keep them there for three, four and five rotations.
You know your empire’s crumbling when a member of the Axis of Evil can test missiles and explode nuclear warheads, and all you can do about it is mumble some pathetic warnings about how they better not do that again or there will be consequences.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you even think that there is an Axis of Evil.
You know your empire’s crumbling when a rag-tag military hodge-podge of irregulars has you pinned down in an endless fight you can’t win, but also can’t lose.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you’re too dumb to even ban Humvees as a first step toward ending your dependency on a foreign-owned crucial resource.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you trade your prior moral leadership on human rights issues for global disgust at your torture, ‘extraordinary rendition’ (a.k.a. kidnaping for torture) and the dismantling of nine centuries worth of civil liberties progress.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you blow off international law that you once helped create, and undermine the institutions of international governance that you once helped build.
You know your empire’s crumbling when opinion polls confirm that every month you’re more and more despised throughout the world.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you can’t even pull off the hanging of a tin-pot murderous former dictator without turning him into a hero.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you’re the richest country in the world, but nearly 50 million of your people don’t have basic health care coverage.
You know your empire’s crumbling when the World Health Organization ranks your healthcare system 37th ‘best’ in the world, just above Slovenia, and just below Costa Rica. (And far below Colombia, Cyprus, Saudi Arabia and Morocco.)
You know your empire’s crumbling when instead of making it easier for citizens to obtain a higher education, you’re making it harder and more expensive.
You know your empire’s crumbling when your government gives tax breaks to industries as a reward for exporting your jobs elsewhere.
You know your empire’s crumbling when the so-called ‘opposition’ party can’t even turn that obscenity into a viable campaign theme and use it to clobber the worst emperor in your history.
You know your empire’s crumbling when your middle class has been stagnant for three decades, while the wealth of the hyper-rich continues to climb through the roof.
You know your empire’s crumbling when your reaction to that is to exacerbate the problem by enacting tax policies that massively increase further still the gap between the rich and the rest.
You know your empire’s crumbling when the predatory class has taken over your government and is stripping the country of everything not bolted down to the floor. And then it sells the floor itself, as well, to your rivals.
You know your empire’s crumbling when you’re spending tens of billions of dollars you don’t own on new nuclear warheads and space weapons that don’t work, to be used against an enemy you don’t have.
You know your empire’s crumbling when one of your cities drowns and your government does next to nothing before, during and after.
You know your empire’s crumbling when a massive environmental nightmare is looming around the corner, and your emperor not only ignores it, but claims it isn’t real while taking steps to exacerbate it.
You know your empire’s crumbling when your emperor is warned by a CIA briefer of an imminent terrorist attack of vast proportions, and responds by remaining on vacation and dismissing the briefer with the words: “All right. You've covered your ass, now.”
You know your empire’s crumbling when the same emperor drops everything to fly across the country from his vacation home in order to sign a bill intervening on the wrong side of a personal medical drama involving a single family.
You know your empire’s crumbling when gays and immigrants are used as diversionary issues to keep people from thinking about the pillaging of their country and their wallets actually taking place. And it works.
You know your empire’s crumbling when people are getting more religious and less scientific, not the other way around.
You know your empire’s crumbling when your political leaders start to be chosen by dynastic rules of succession.
And you especially know your empire’s crumbling when the most idiotic child of one of the least accomplished leaders in its history is not only crowned as the next emperor, but is even revered for a time by most of the public as a great one.
Rome? Britain? Spain?
At this rate we’ll be lucky to end up like Belgium.
David Michael Green is a professor of political science at Hofstra University in New York. He is delighted to receive readers' reactions to his articles (dmg@regressiveantidote.net), but regrets that time constraints do not always allow him to respond. More of his work can be found at his website, www.regressiveantidote.net.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Aqua Teen Hunger Force unleashes terror on Boston
An advertising campaign for a late-night animated series went seriously wrong today when police in Boston mistook the ads for explosive devices and shut down half the city. The discovery of five suspect devices sent authorities into a tailspin, closing off major roads, suspending rail services and river transport and causing major disruption in the city as police investigated.
After some hours, Turner Broadcasting issued a statement saying that the so-called suspect devices were actually part of a marketing campaign for the series Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim section.
"The 'packages' in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger,'' said the statement from Turner Broadcasting System, according to ABC television. "They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim's animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force. They have been in place for two to three weeks.''
It said the company was in contact with police on how to resolve the issue. "We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger,'' it said. Police Commissioner Edward Davis earlier in the day said he was unaware who was behind the devices, but a police spokesman later said authorities were digesting the statement from Turner.
"There's nothing that we have found that indicates any danger to the people who are coming into or out of the city,'' Mr Davis said, describing the day's security operation as a major strain on police resources. "I think we are all relieved that the devices found so far have proven to be hoax devices,'' Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick said.
One of the five devices was destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Local reports said that officials had described one device as containing an electronic circuit board with some components that were "consistent with an improvised explosive device" but that it contained no explosives. Other reports said the devices contained circuit boards featuring a cartoon that lit up a figure making an obscene gesture. Security alerts have become a frequent occurrence in the US ever since the attacks of September 11, 2001, the vast majority of which turn out to be false alarms or hoaxes.
Is this normal? Or rather, is this what passes for normal behavior in America today? If so, then I have to concede that I am certifiably insane, because for me, when I see a dolphin at a Sea World-type park playing with a softball-sized black and white glass jar, I generally do not think "Jesus, he's got a bomb!"
Likewise, if I were to hear movie theme music coming from a newspaper box, I doubt I would automatically understand it to mean that an explosion was imminent. As for a circuit board made up of LEDs depicting a cartoon character 'flipping the bird': if 'Improvised explosive device' was the first thing that came to my mind, I would seriously consider therapy.
That American citizens are reacting in such an fearful and irrational way to mundane everyday objects is deeply worrying. Can anyone image this happening 10 or 20 years ago? What has happened during that period of time to create such a degradation of what used to be the American people's ability to think and act in a relatively sane way to their environment? This question is, of course, somewhat rhetorical because the root cause of the current malaise that afflicts the American mind is, or at least it should be, screamingly obvious. It is the last 6 years of the tenure of the Bush government, its relentless beating of the "war on terror" drum, and most importantly, the defining moment in the recent history of the United States - the self-inflicted wound of 9/11.
If dolphins, music and cartoon characters on bridges are now being interpreted by the average American as evidence of "terrorism", then the plans of the Bush government to radically reprogram the American mind with thoughts of an omnipresent yet wholly fictitious threat of "Islamic terrorism" have been much more successful and have progressed much further than even we suspected.
It goes without saying that none of this augurs well for the ability of the American people to protect themselves against further US government-sponsored "terror attacks", the perpetration of which is now even more likely and indeed has been rendered as effortless as taking candy from a baby.
After some hours, Turner Broadcasting issued a statement saying that the so-called suspect devices were actually part of a marketing campaign for the series Aqua Teen Hunger Force on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim section.
"The 'packages' in question are magnetic lights that pose no danger,'' said the statement from Turner Broadcasting System, according to ABC television. "They are part of an outdoor marketing campaign in 10 cities in support of Adult Swim's animated television show Aqua Teen Hunger Force. They have been in place for two to three weeks.''
It said the company was in contact with police on how to resolve the issue. "We regret that they were mistakenly thought to pose any danger,'' it said. Police Commissioner Edward Davis earlier in the day said he was unaware who was behind the devices, but a police spokesman later said authorities were digesting the statement from Turner.
"There's nothing that we have found that indicates any danger to the people who are coming into or out of the city,'' Mr Davis said, describing the day's security operation as a major strain on police resources. "I think we are all relieved that the devices found so far have proven to be hoax devices,'' Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick said.
One of the five devices was destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Local reports said that officials had described one device as containing an electronic circuit board with some components that were "consistent with an improvised explosive device" but that it contained no explosives. Other reports said the devices contained circuit boards featuring a cartoon that lit up a figure making an obscene gesture. Security alerts have become a frequent occurrence in the US ever since the attacks of September 11, 2001, the vast majority of which turn out to be false alarms or hoaxes.
Is this normal? Or rather, is this what passes for normal behavior in America today? If so, then I have to concede that I am certifiably insane, because for me, when I see a dolphin at a Sea World-type park playing with a softball-sized black and white glass jar, I generally do not think "Jesus, he's got a bomb!"
Likewise, if I were to hear movie theme music coming from a newspaper box, I doubt I would automatically understand it to mean that an explosion was imminent. As for a circuit board made up of LEDs depicting a cartoon character 'flipping the bird': if 'Improvised explosive device' was the first thing that came to my mind, I would seriously consider therapy.
That American citizens are reacting in such an fearful and irrational way to mundane everyday objects is deeply worrying. Can anyone image this happening 10 or 20 years ago? What has happened during that period of time to create such a degradation of what used to be the American people's ability to think and act in a relatively sane way to their environment? This question is, of course, somewhat rhetorical because the root cause of the current malaise that afflicts the American mind is, or at least it should be, screamingly obvious. It is the last 6 years of the tenure of the Bush government, its relentless beating of the "war on terror" drum, and most importantly, the defining moment in the recent history of the United States - the self-inflicted wound of 9/11.
If dolphins, music and cartoon characters on bridges are now being interpreted by the average American as evidence of "terrorism", then the plans of the Bush government to radically reprogram the American mind with thoughts of an omnipresent yet wholly fictitious threat of "Islamic terrorism" have been much more successful and have progressed much further than even we suspected.
It goes without saying that none of this augurs well for the ability of the American people to protect themselves against further US government-sponsored "terror attacks", the perpetration of which is now even more likely and indeed has been rendered as effortless as taking candy from a baby.
Police raid hardware stores and Radio Shacks across the US looking for terrorist wire
LA Times faces legal action over news-stand 'bomb' alert
Feb 1 2007
The Los Angeles Times and movie studio Paramount could face a federal lawsuit after a publicity stunt to promote "Mission: Impossible III" sparked a bomb scare, the paper reported.
Around 4,500 sidewalk newspaper boxes across California were rigged with devices last April that played the "Mission: Impossible" theme when customers opened them in the build-up to the release of the Tom Cruise blockbuster.
But several customers thought the music players were bombs and reported them to law enforcement officials. An arson squad blew up one of the newspaper boxes in Santa Clarita, just north of Los Angeles, as a precaution.
In West Los Angeles, federal police at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center called the bomb squad after a newspaper buyer spotted wires rigged to the music player within the box. Hospital officials evacuated the building.
The Times quoted assistant US attorney in Los Angeles Linda Kontos as saying that the hospital had suffered around 93,000 dollars in losses because of the evacuation.
In letters sent to The Times and Paramount, Kontos said her office would recommend that the government sue the newspaper and studio, The Times reported.
Kontos however said her department would provide both parties "with the opportunity to resolve the allegations" without litigation.
Feb 1 2007
The Los Angeles Times and movie studio Paramount could face a federal lawsuit after a publicity stunt to promote "Mission: Impossible III" sparked a bomb scare, the paper reported.
Around 4,500 sidewalk newspaper boxes across California were rigged with devices last April that played the "Mission: Impossible" theme when customers opened them in the build-up to the release of the Tom Cruise blockbuster.
But several customers thought the music players were bombs and reported them to law enforcement officials. An arson squad blew up one of the newspaper boxes in Santa Clarita, just north of Los Angeles, as a precaution.
In West Los Angeles, federal police at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center called the bomb squad after a newspaper buyer spotted wires rigged to the music player within the box. Hospital officials evacuated the building.
The Times quoted assistant US attorney in Los Angeles Linda Kontos as saying that the hospital had suffered around 93,000 dollars in losses because of the evacuation.
In letters sent to The Times and Paramount, Kontos said her office would recommend that the government sue the newspaper and studio, The Times reported.
Kontos however said her department would provide both parties "with the opportunity to resolve the allegations" without litigation.
When people live in terror the terrorists have won
Wausau Daily Herald
WITTENBERG -- What Rachel Rasmussen thought was an explosive situation ended without a bang once the Army rolled into town. Rasmussen, who recently purchased a new home in Wittenberg, thought she had found a land mine in her backyard but discovered Wednesday that it actually was an old base for a large umbrella.
"It looked very suspicious," Rasmussen said, adding that it was half-buried behind trees and a large rock. "Everyone else I showed the picture to thought it was a land mine." Photographs of the object apparently were convincing enough that Fort McCoy dispatched a bomb squad to investigate. But early Wednesday afternoon, the bomb squad determined it was not a land mine or anything else dangerous. The Fort McCoy team refused to comment, and the two responding Shawano County Sheriff's Department officers were unavailable for comment.
The false alarm wasn't a new experience for the bomb specialists, said Linda Fournier, Fort McCoy's public affairs officer. The specialists respond to calls in a seven-state area, but Fournier said she did not know how many of those are false alarms.
It was a first for the Shawano County Sheriff's Department, however. Lt. George Lenzner said the department sometimes receives calls regarding old artillery shells, but never for land mines.
"It's kind of a relief (that it wasn't a land mine)," he said. "Otherwise, we would have had to find a place to detonate it."
Rasmussen's adventure began when she and her boyfriend were working in the yard Monday at her new home at W17236 Witt-Birn Townline Road. They found what they thought might be a land mine, and they called police the next day.
Lt. Staber Cook snapped some pictures and sent them to the Brown County bomb squad. Fort McCoy officials received the pictures that night and told Shawano County authorities Wednesday morning that it was a land mine and they were sending a team to handle the situation.
Rasmussen said the "freaky" experience will be a funny story she won't soon forget.
"I'm sure I'll be laughing about this thing for years," she said.
Jim Schultz
redding.com
Bomb squad and other public safety personnel were breathing a sigh of relief Thursday night after determining that a suspicious, old-fashioned, medicine-type bottle containing a clear liquid that was left outside a Redding business was not an explosive device.
Suspicious liquid found downtown is not explosive. Still, the contents had not been identified as of Thursday evening and a hazardous materials team collected the bottle to test the liquid today to determine whether it was dangerous.
A passerby reported a suspicious object on South Street between California and Market streets around 2:10 p.m. Thursday. The parking lot was roped off, and a Shasta County sheriff's bomb squad member checked the bottle and recommended that the squad be called to investigate.
Police later cordoned off a portion of South Street, and it was determined around 6:45 p.m. that the object was not explosive.
Lt. Jerry Shearman of the Shasta County Sheriff's Department said the bomb squad, using a portable X-ray device, ruled out a possible bomb after it did not discover wires, metal or a triggering device in the bottle. Still, its contents were a mystery.
The large public safety and media presence at the scene startled those doing business in the area, catching the attention of hair stylist Robin Young and her customers inside the Colours Hair Salon.
"I've been down here for four or five bank robberies and that's what I thought it was at first," said Young, 42, of Shasta Lake.
"Our responsibility is to make sure the public is safe," Lauderdale said. "That's what we're here for."
AFX News Limited
LONDON (AFX) - A federal press centre near the White House housing several of President George W Bush's press aides was evacuated for about a half an hour this morning because of a bomb scare, according to US media reports.
The alarm was raised after a car was checked by sniffer dogs, but Secret Service spokeswoman Kim Bruce said nothing amiss was found in the vehicle, which was driven by a State Department contractor and had been stopped at the entrance to the White House complex, on further inspection, Fox TV reported.
The White House Conference Center on Jackson Place, which was emptied, is serving as the temporary offices of several of Bush's press aides as well as reporters covering the president, the US TV news channel said.
South Bend, Indiana
A bomb scare startled a number of St. Joseph County workers as police checked out suspicious packages. South Bend Police received a call early Friday morning that someone left two packages at the St. Joseph County Jail.
The bomb squad closed down Sample street for safety while they inspected the area.
Police say it was a false alarm. County workers tell us it was just a space heater and phone.
In any event, officers had the situation under control in a couple hours.
South Bend Police Captain Phil Trent says, "We protect lives first, we protect property secondarily and if we can leave a scene with no one hurt and no property damaged or destroyed then that's a success."
Police say it's best to call emergency and leave the area immediately, if you find anything suspicious.
WITTENBERG -- What Rachel Rasmussen thought was an explosive situation ended without a bang once the Army rolled into town. Rasmussen, who recently purchased a new home in Wittenberg, thought she had found a land mine in her backyard but discovered Wednesday that it actually was an old base for a large umbrella.
"It looked very suspicious," Rasmussen said, adding that it was half-buried behind trees and a large rock. "Everyone else I showed the picture to thought it was a land mine." Photographs of the object apparently were convincing enough that Fort McCoy dispatched a bomb squad to investigate. But early Wednesday afternoon, the bomb squad determined it was not a land mine or anything else dangerous. The Fort McCoy team refused to comment, and the two responding Shawano County Sheriff's Department officers were unavailable for comment.
The false alarm wasn't a new experience for the bomb specialists, said Linda Fournier, Fort McCoy's public affairs officer. The specialists respond to calls in a seven-state area, but Fournier said she did not know how many of those are false alarms.
It was a first for the Shawano County Sheriff's Department, however. Lt. George Lenzner said the department sometimes receives calls regarding old artillery shells, but never for land mines.
"It's kind of a relief (that it wasn't a land mine)," he said. "Otherwise, we would have had to find a place to detonate it."
Rasmussen's adventure began when she and her boyfriend were working in the yard Monday at her new home at W17236 Witt-Birn Townline Road. They found what they thought might be a land mine, and they called police the next day.
Lt. Staber Cook snapped some pictures and sent them to the Brown County bomb squad. Fort McCoy officials received the pictures that night and told Shawano County authorities Wednesday morning that it was a land mine and they were sending a team to handle the situation.
Rasmussen said the "freaky" experience will be a funny story she won't soon forget.
"I'm sure I'll be laughing about this thing for years," she said.
Jim Schultz
redding.com
Bomb squad and other public safety personnel were breathing a sigh of relief Thursday night after determining that a suspicious, old-fashioned, medicine-type bottle containing a clear liquid that was left outside a Redding business was not an explosive device.
Suspicious liquid found downtown is not explosive. Still, the contents had not been identified as of Thursday evening and a hazardous materials team collected the bottle to test the liquid today to determine whether it was dangerous.
A passerby reported a suspicious object on South Street between California and Market streets around 2:10 p.m. Thursday. The parking lot was roped off, and a Shasta County sheriff's bomb squad member checked the bottle and recommended that the squad be called to investigate.
Police later cordoned off a portion of South Street, and it was determined around 6:45 p.m. that the object was not explosive.
Lt. Jerry Shearman of the Shasta County Sheriff's Department said the bomb squad, using a portable X-ray device, ruled out a possible bomb after it did not discover wires, metal or a triggering device in the bottle. Still, its contents were a mystery.
The large public safety and media presence at the scene startled those doing business in the area, catching the attention of hair stylist Robin Young and her customers inside the Colours Hair Salon.
"I've been down here for four or five bank robberies and that's what I thought it was at first," said Young, 42, of Shasta Lake.
"Our responsibility is to make sure the public is safe," Lauderdale said. "That's what we're here for."
AFX News Limited
LONDON (AFX) - A federal press centre near the White House housing several of President George W Bush's press aides was evacuated for about a half an hour this morning because of a bomb scare, according to US media reports.
The alarm was raised after a car was checked by sniffer dogs, but Secret Service spokeswoman Kim Bruce said nothing amiss was found in the vehicle, which was driven by a State Department contractor and had been stopped at the entrance to the White House complex, on further inspection, Fox TV reported.
The White House Conference Center on Jackson Place, which was emptied, is serving as the temporary offices of several of Bush's press aides as well as reporters covering the president, the US TV news channel said.
South Bend, Indiana
A bomb scare startled a number of St. Joseph County workers as police checked out suspicious packages. South Bend Police received a call early Friday morning that someone left two packages at the St. Joseph County Jail.
The bomb squad closed down Sample street for safety while they inspected the area.
Police say it was a false alarm. County workers tell us it was just a space heater and phone.
In any event, officers had the situation under control in a couple hours.
South Bend Police Captain Phil Trent says, "We protect lives first, we protect property secondarily and if we can leave a scene with no one hurt and no property damaged or destroyed then that's a success."
Police say it's best to call emergency and leave the area immediately, if you find anything suspicious.
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